Hey look over here
And don’t have fear
How about a beer
You can pet my reindeer.
Don’t mind the frothy mouth
The reindeer might be going south
He jumped in my car right after
That awful car accident disaster.
He told me quietly to drive
He wanted to see the other city side
Before he laid down and died.
But low and behold
The truth be told
He’s been real bold
And life still holds.
So pet him gently now
As he waits to go down south
Leave the land of the sun
And go off to have more fun.
We are the last he’ll see
On the planet with the blue sea
And we should make it good
Like any cool dude would.
Take him to a vet
Forget it just give him a pet
Those dudes will just inspect
Before they lethally inject.
He wants to see the sky
While he waits quietly to die
And I just want him to be happy now
Before he goes up through the clouds.
Aren’t his spots great
I wonder if he had a mate
To bad he crossed the road today
When my car passed in his way.
Goodbye now there he goes
I know by his curling toes
See you later alligator
Hope I see you again later.
Scientists all gather around
White coats abound
Telling us what they have found
Telling us that it is profound.
A new treatment for this or that
Hiding details like big old rats
Side effects that are really crap
Pretending we don’t care about that.
Other details left out too
Like clinical trials that didn’t do
The job without some added brew
That they aren’t going to give to you.
Who will read that stuff they say
No one suspects us to play
With words we use to get us paid
These white coats let us have our way.
New drugs are the white coats game.
TV hasn’t been the same
Drug us all is their lofty aim
Drug us all is a money game.
Smoking drugs tell us there’s hope
Actually make us all dopes
Don’t speak the truth or the real
Trying to make tons of money on the deal.
New drugs create bloody rain
Livers die and strokes are gained
People are never the same
Losers in the new drug game.
Human biology so complex
White coats still remain perplexed
While pretending to have the perfect hex
Scribble out another RX.
Not all drugs are bad it’s true
Many have helped me and you
Just be careful what you do
If you don’t need it don’t ensue
Ingestion of any new brew.
Oh Lane Oh Lane
Why are you a pain
Don’t you know it’s lame
To be so bully in the posting game
Zillion postings in a row with your name
It’s really quite insane.
If you don’t post it all in a row
With such a feverish blow
Do you feel no one will know
To read your posts so
You give them no where to go
By posting so many in a row?
Or maybe it’s just simply math
Visions of clicking money baths
Take you down your crazed posting path
Self centered visions ignore the wrath.
But how will you ever see
If readers want to actually read
What you write by wiping out the posting seas
When you leave only you to read
And there’s no reading variety to be?
Don’t be afraid
Just play it real in the game
Posting zillions feverishly in a row is insane
And doesn’t bring instant fame to your name.
No such thing as rapid success
Time is the real test
Of what readers like the best
And who they will easily forget
Attention wanes they cry out “NEXT!”.
And those zillion postings only brings disdain
From those writers who play fair in the game
Leave variety to readers to decide what’s lame
Give everyone a chance to claim
The small bits of profit change
That comes from the clicking game
By not posting so many in a day
That it wipes out everyone else’s name.
So get real Lane and get it right
Stop bombarding the site
Where readers come to read and write
That insanity doesn’t reflect writing might
And doesn’t mean you’re out of sight
Just means you need to get it right
And stop being a bully writer on the site.
Was the world always this way?
People had to work work work the days away?
Was there a time when everyone just played?
Never had to work on any day?
There is one story of Adam and Eve
Until they had to leave
After God got peeved
That they put on fig leaves.
Did those two blow it for all of us?
Make us work every day instead of rest
Too bad they didn’t try their best
To please God and not get Him pissed.
I think that must be it they did
Because there’s no other example of it
On the lines of the world history trip
Man we all got seriously ripped!
Hey GOD what’s up?
I wasn’t involved in that eating stuff
And isn’t enoughs enough?
Time heals all and all that stuff?
I don’t even think I was related to them
Come from a place from another end
My genes have never been kin
With those people say they come from them.
I guess when you punish it’s for all time
But c’mon what you decided to leave behind
Just because two people peeved your mind
Seems too harsh a sentence for that crime.
Would it really be so rough and tough
To let us all go back to living in the buff
Not have to work or do any bullshit stuff
Live a life again that isn’t so rough?
We’re sorry Ok?
We’re all ready to go back and play
Every night and every day
Promise no apples will make us stray
And we’ll throw all of our clothes away
We’ll all get it right for ever and a day
Make you happy every day.
What’s that you say?
Too much knowledge to return life to that way?
That one apple took all hope forever away?
Can’t go back to those old days
Without disrupting the universe laid
So we all have to continue to pay?
Damn! Oops sorry that’s right you don’t like that one
Ok well maybe things can’t be undone
Can’t go back to live every day with pure fun
Can’t go back to buff in the sun.
But hey could you see your way to assure me a lottery win
Sorry just thought I’d try since I had your attention
Well, ok see you later at the end of life’s last station
But by the way thanks for such a wonderful creation
Of this world that I live in except for the part about the work day situation.
Watch yourself watch your back
Stay away from Josey Stack
She always carries a pound of dynamite in her sack
And looks for people to blow up because she smokes a ton of crack.
She travels through the streets
Looking for people to meet
Who will give her something to eat
Then blows them up just because she thinks its neat.
Bodies fly everywhere
But Josie never cares
She just laughs and fixes her dirty hair
And walks away while body parts fly around her in the air.
When Josie Stack's day of bombings is done
She goes under the freeway to sleep with other bums
And waits each night for the police to come
But the police never come and Josie thinks its because they're dumb.
The bums Josie spends the night with under the freeway
See Josie coming and try to run away
Because they know she blows people up all day
And not even bums want to stay
With someone who blows up people everyday.
Eventually Josie blew so many people up on one day
People couldn't walk down the street because body parts were all over the place
And the clean up crew couldn't keep up the pace
Because the smell was so bad they had to use one hand to cover their face.
Josie realized that it wasn't as much fun as before
To blow up people and have their body parts all over the floor
So she stole a ton of dynamite from the store
And decided to do more.
Josie Stack climbed the highest flag pole next to city hall
And started screaming for the news reporters to call
When no one came Josie Stack began to ball
And decided the best thing to do was to end it all.
So she lit the ton of dynamite in her sack
Which represented her final attack
On everyone who didn't watch their back
After she started smoking crack.
Body parts flew everywhere for the last time ever
And Josie Stacks body parts were also severed
And that was the end of Josie Stack
Who went crazy after smoking a ton of crack.
This computer’s got me going crazy
Things are starting to look hazy
And dots are forming in the shape of daisies
Is everyone suddenly wearing paisley?
I could break down and turn it off
But what will I do next to stop
The constant thought
Swirling in my brain like a perpetual top.
Wait a 10 minute break may cure me
I’ll just have to force myself to break away and see
If resting my eyes for 10 minutes will be
Enough to allow my eyes to again see
And keep up with the brain in me.
5 minutes have gone by and I ‘m a wreak
I’m getting weaker and starting to sweat
WHERE IS THE MOTRIN KEPT?!
ENOUGH’S ENOUGH’S I GOTTA GO BACK TO IT!
There I’m back now though I still can’t see
But people don’t look that bad in paisley
And my vision has improved from hazy
And my brain is once again happy.
I could be going crazy
From brain pulses that keep me from being lazy
That makes my brain work ‘till my eyes are hazy
And everyone looks like they’re wearing paisley.
Screw it I don’t really care
If I go crazy and everyone stares
I love my computer beyond compare
And my brain likes to write ‘till it’s bare
So I don’t care
If I can’t see over there
Of even if it makes me lose all my hair
I wont get off my computer whatever the fare.
Hey chicky come over hereLet me whisper in your ear
Buy you a bunch of beer
Take away all your fears.
Hey I’m not your type
That’s alright
Enough beers tonight
And I’ll look out of sight.
You don’t drink
Well that just stinks
Takes me to the brink
What if I buy you a mink?
That’s right I have money
I’m what you’re looking for honey
I’m even pretty funny
Even have a six pack tummy.
Does that help tonight
To forget I’m not your type
It really isn’t hype
Go with me and you’ll be more
Than alright.
I’m just looking for a chick
Who knows all the tricks
To keep my life hip
Even though I’m a drip.
Won’t tell her more
Like how she’ll have to be my ho
How I won’t let her ever walk out the door
Make her sweep my dirty floors
For ever more.
Let her find out later
When feelings are greater
Then start telling her I hate her
After I capture the heart of this player.
So you want to go with me?
Step into my Porsche you’ll see
How great life will be
After you give your heart to me.
I’m going to make you mine
‘Till the end of time
Give you a life that’s fine
Never have to work the mine
Life filled with only good times.
Cool step right in
Don’t worry about the sin
This is where life begins
You’ve made the right decision.
Later…..
What’s that? I’m just a one night stand?!
Thought you wanted to take my hand!
Walk with me forever through the sand!
Make me forever your man!
Piece of meat !
That’s all you see!
You just felt horny!
Think I’m too corny?!
Whatever I don’t care
Really wanted to pull your hair
Give you a life you couldn’t bear
So just go on get outta here
And no! you can’t have a beer!
Tea cup fairies dance and sing
They don’t care about anything
No work at all just sing sing sing
Brings them absolutely everything
They need to make life a happy thing
And continue on to sing sing sing.
Fly around back and forth
Sometimes south sometimes north
Dressed like little tiny whores
Collecting liquor back and forth
To assure they always get more
At the tiny little liquor stores.
.
Sounds distressing how they dress?
They don’t care if you get pissed
They sing all day and forget the rest
So there’s no point to sweat or fret.
You know dressed like little whores
They always get more
And they aren’t real whores
Who spend all day getting sore
Who no one let’s in the door
They just wear the dress of whores
Don’t ever give more
‘Cause it gives them more from the
Liquor store.
Can’t make them change not ever you know
Even if you intentionally step on their toe
Make them work hard with tiny hoes
Or say their bad for dressing like little hos.
They will just go on and sing sing sing
Never realize anything
That you say about their being thing
Regardless of what you decide to bring
To try and stop their sing sing sing
Or their dress like a little whore thing.
So if you see a tea cup fairy flying by
Dressed like a little whore don’t cry
Don’t try to change their life
They just can’t stand to be dry
And just love to get high
But never bother any guy
Unless that guy’s eye
Gets caught by
Their tiny wild side
The side they love to use
to get a free ride
That’s just the tide
Of life going by
For tiny teacup fairy guys.
Geeks rule the world
You don’t think that’s true
Look around you fool
At every corporate tool
And every politician fool
Do you think they’re cool?
No no no that isn’t the case
Look at the cool people
All over the place
Geeks don’t run this space.
Cool people are the entire percent
Of everyone whose life is spent
Living it large in a movie tent
Geeks don’t even make a dent
In that tent.
What? Those Geeks pay the salary
Of all those reel worthy kings and queens
Always the ones behind every scene
Making money that is truly obscene.
Ok that’s it I give in
Seems it’s true just can’t win
Geeks rule the world what a sin
What kind of world are we living in?
Ha! Thought you’d see
How better it is to be a Geek
If you’re a Geek you get to speak
Have a better work week
Chance to rule not be meek.
But I don’t want to live like a tool
Become a politician fool
Run the corporate world
So I’ll just stay cool.
Don’t be ridiculous that’s not the way
Can be yourself on almost every day
Except when intercepting power and pay
Then for a moment turn away
And play it the Geek way.
Once you get your power and pay
Hey turn it the other way
Play it cool every hour of every day
Then there’s nothing they can say
To turn you away.
That was my way
And look at where I am today
A cool operative I played it there way
And now I get Geeks power and play
And now live 100% the cool way
Every hour of every day.
If more cool people did that
Just think where we’d be at
Better world for dogs and cats
Better place then where we’re at.
Screw it let’s go back in
Are you going to finish that cig?
Did you hear if Tommy’s driving the rig?
Oh Crap! There’s Mr. Big!
Hurry hide that cig!
Rah Rah tell me all about
The good life that you tout
Makes me want to pout
And throw you out.
I can’t seem to tell you
Don’t want you to feel blue
But this high living truth
Made me break a tooth.
I’m glad your life is great
But please give me a break
I just can’t bear to take
The constant tale of your fabulous fate.
Hear it constantly
Should that get me to believe
I can live that reality
You’re no better than me
Is that what you see?
First I need the chance
To do that money dance
Develop a romance
Maybe then I too can prance.
Until that day comes
Quit making me undone
By telling me relentlessly
How great your life’s become.
It makes me sad
Makes me mad
Thoughts get bad
Think I’m glad
You ‘re off more than a tad.
Let’s just keep it now and then
That way we can stay friends
Unless you have money to lend
That has no end
So I can live just like
My friend
Otherwise this has to end
And change to only now and then.
Sleep away sleep away
Every minute of the day
Do you think that’s ok?
Only if you’re in the growing way!
1-2 hours fool that’s all you need
The rest of it must be from smoking weed
And a bad daddy who let you do as you pleased
Get up we don’t have time for you to disagree.
What? We’re just slaves of misery?
I don’t think I really disagree
But we don’t have time to get freed
So get up now we need to leave and get to Steve’s!
First we need to rake the leaves for Steve,
While babysitting Steve’s ridiculous niece
Knock down his hive of deadly bees
Take Bobby, John and Brian to little league
Plant Steve’s 100 acres with peas
Paint all those ugly eaves of Steve’s
And tear down Steve’s lot of sick dead trees.
Steve doesn’t pay much it’s true
But that’s the only work we have to do
Since all the corporations left for Baruu
There haven’t been any other jobs to do!
I miss the days of office work too
I felt much less blue it’s true
But those days are over nube
Those stupid politician fools
Left everyone seriously screwed
When
Hey, maybe we can move to Baruu
Go do the jobs we used to do
What? They’d kill us on site is that true?
Looks like there’s nothing more to do.
Forget it, let’s just go do what we gotta do
Maybe someday life here will improve
In the meantime we have to get on the move
Or we won’t even have Steve’s jobs to do
And then we won’t be able to buy food
And life will get even more seriously crude
So c’mon let’s get moving dude
No, sorry I’m out of weed too.
Run away Run away
Here comes Jack he wants to play
He’ll just get in our way
Of having a wonderful day.
First he’ll tell us he wants to play
Then start complaining about his day
Doesn’t he know that’s not the way
To have a wonderful fabulous day?
We all have crap we can’t stand
And would change if it we can
And we would rather hear the band
Then listen to Jack’s complaining stance.
Didn’t anyone ever teach that fool
To let it all go and play it cool
Having fun should sometimes rule
And Jack’s complaining makes him a tool.
Damn he saw us now what to do
We could just pretend it’s cool
And quickly end all talk with this fool
Invite him along and we’re the tool.
Hey Jack how’s it been
No don’t know the sorry state you’re in
Crap that stuff sounds like a real sin
Sure it would have us too on pins.
Well we gotta go
We’re are getting cold
And it might snow
And she hurt her toe.
God! He’s still the same
Will Jack ever change?
Whatever at least we don’t play that game
That dude is just seriously lame.
We know that life can suck for everyone
But live our life without the scum
That can’t live life without acting dumb
By telling us every stinking crumb
Of how they’re life has become undone
That’s always the death to all fun
And those dudes are seriously sickly spun
Too bad they don’t know they’re dumb.
See that money run
Run and chase it son
Just like everyone
Who lives under the sun.
You’ll hate all money when
You don’t have any to spend
When you do have it then
You’ll fall in love with it again.
Keep on running after it every day
Two days off to run and play
Run run run every other day
Many bills will need to be paid.
It costs to live living ain’t free
Pretty soon may have to buy the air we breathe
Stay away from credit that’s a disease
Loans will only bring you to your knees.
Hey! Here comes more money running by
Hurry son run fast you can catch it if you try
There’s no time for a pain in the side!
You’ll have to run faster than that to survive!
Is that Bunny Makalee
Didn’t she get hurt kneeling on her knees
Climbing up that work tree
Trying to get rich and freed?
Yah Yah I think that is her
I recognize that fur
That matching purse
She wore it to that funeral
With the colorful hearse.
Hi Bunny how have you been
Haven’t seen you forever friend
What kind of shape is your knee in?
What’s that? You had a win?
Won the lottery spin?
Married a zillionaire?
This is starting to seem unfair
Does he act like a brutish bear?
Does he make you scratch and tear?
What?! He is honest and fair?
Hey we’re getting outta here
I can’t listen to that dream
Being treated like a queen
No one lives that scene
That scene’s only in your dream.
Ha Ha Ha I knew it!
Had me going with that bit!
No No it’s fine I can handle it
But really glad you ended that shit.
We were ready to go away
See you never after today
Cause zillionaires never play
With people who work all day.
As long as you’re still one of us
What? What about that lottery stuff?
That wasn’t part of the joking bluff?
Wow do you think there’s enough
To give some of it to us?
Hey we were on your side
When you climbed outside
Trying to make it the other side
She even cried.
Yah it’s true
I cried and supported you
When you did what we should do
To break free from work servitude.
Both of us felt blue
When we thought you got screwed
No No it wasn’t us laughing at you.
Anyway just thought we’d try
Since now you have a very rich life
While our life is filled with financial strife
We didn’t think it would cut like a knife.
Everyone always begs you for money?
What did you think it would be like honey?
Not everyone’s day is quite so sunny
The rest of all of us find your attitude funny!
You have to give give give
When you have plenty to give
Allow the rest of us to live.
It’s not your prerogative
“Cause if you refuse
It’s us you’ll loose
And it won’t be cool
Sitting alone like a fool.
What’s that? You have new friends?
Joined a club of people with lottery wins?
Don’t care about what shape we’re in?
Living the good life end to end?
Hey, that’s all we have to say
So guess we won’t see you after today
Whatever we don’t really care
And by the way what’s with your hair?
Man, what’s up with her?
Didn’t her daddy teach her to share?
And what was with that stupid hair?
She needs lots of Nair
Hey let’s just shut up and get outta here
On our way back let’s stop for beer.
