INTERNET CRITICS

If you don’t like

What I write

Please be polite

And do what’s right

If you don’t agree

And cannot see

The poet in me

I might catch the disease

Of trying to please

And lose my off beat creativity.

So even if you hate

Everything I create

And can’t appreciate

The rhyme I make

Who I am is at stake

And what you hate

Others actually might appreciate

But your hate

might create

A terminal quake.

So if you don’t like

What I write

Try to be polite

And do what’s right

Or I might kill your stupid ass tonight.

Still Alive I Survived

Here it comes

I going to be undone

I may have to become a nun

Just to deal with what comes.

Pressure building

Pressure cooker steaming

Hurry before everything starts unloading

Take cover the entire thing is exploding!

Am I alive?

Did I survive?

It’s hard to realize

Can’t recognize

Hardly can conceptualize

How I landed on the other side.

I thought that was the end

That my life would no longer spend

In the days of world without end

But now I have to bend

To live more days to spend

Until the end.

Smoke is clearing

Finished tearing

Aftermath still searing

Life is once again rearing.

A survivor am I

No matter what comes by

Thank God I’m still alive

Another day to enjoy life

Too bad the rest died.

Things Are Getting Hazy

This computer’s got me going crazy

Things are starting to look hazy

And dots are forming in the shape of daisies

Is everyone suddenly wearing paisley?

I could break down and turn it off

But what will I do next to stop

The constant thought

Swirling in my brain like a perpetual top.

Wait a 10 minute break may cure me

I’ll just have to force myself to break away and see

If resting my eyes for 10 minutes will be

Enough to allow my eyes to again see

And keep up with the brain in me.

5 minutes have gone by and I ‘m a wreak

I’m getting weaker and starting to sweat

WHERE IS THE MOTRIN KEPT?!

ENOUGH’S ENOUGH’S I GOTTA GO BACK TO IT!

There I’m back now though I still can’t see

But people don’t look that bad in paisley

And my vision has improved from hazy

And my brain is once again happy.

I could be going crazy

From brain pulses that keep me from being lazy

That makes my brain work ‘till my eyes are hazy

And everyone looks like they’re wearing paisley.

Screw it I don’t really care

If I go crazy and everyone stares

I love my computer beyond compare

And my brain likes to write ‘till it’s bare

So I don’t care

If I can’t see over there

Of even if it makes me lose all my hair

I wont get off my computer whatever the fare.

RAH RAH TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Rah Rah tell me all about

The good life that you tout

Makes me want to pout

And throw you out.

I can’t seem to tell you

Don’t want you to feel blue

But this high living truth

Made me break a tooth.

I’m glad your life is great

But please give me a break

I just can’t bear to take

The constant tale of your fabulous fate.

Hear it constantly

Should that get me to believe

I can live that reality

You’re no better than me

Is that what you see?

First I need the chance

To do that money dance

Develop a romance

Maybe then I too can prance.

Until that day comes

Quit making me undone

By telling me relentlessly

How great your life’s become.

It makes me sad

Makes me mad

Thoughts get bad

Think I’m glad

You ‘re off more than a tad.

Let’s just keep it now and then

That way we can stay friends

Unless you have money to lend

That has no end

So I can live just like

My friend

Otherwise this has to end

And change to only now and then.

MISERY CAN'T BE SLEPT AWAY..DAMN!

Sleep away sleep away

Every minute of the day

Do you think that’s ok?

Only if you’re in the growing way!

1-2 hours fool that’s all you need

The rest of it must be from smoking weed

And a bad daddy who let you do as you pleased

Get up we don’t have time for you to disagree.

What? We’re just slaves of misery?

I don’t think I really disagree

But we don’t have time to get freed

So get up now we need to leave and get to Steve’s!

First we need to rake the leaves for Steve,

While babysitting Steve’s ridiculous niece

Knock down his hive of deadly bees

Take Bobby, John and Brian to little league

Plant Steve’s 100 acres with peas

Paint all those ugly eaves of Steve’s

And tear down Steve’s lot of sick dead trees.

Steve doesn’t pay much it’s true

But that’s the only work we have to do

Since all the corporations left for Baruu

There haven’t been any other jobs to do!

I miss the days of office work too

I felt much less blue it’s true

But those days are over nube

Those stupid politician fools

Left everyone seriously screwed

When US companies all moved to Baruu.

Hey, maybe we can move to Baruu

Go do the jobs we used to do

What? They’d kill us on site is that true?

Looks like there’s nothing more to do.

Forget it, let’s just go do what we gotta do

Maybe someday life here will improve

In the meantime we have to get on the move

Or we won’t even have Steve’s jobs to do

And then we won’t be able to buy food

And life will get even more seriously crude

So c’mon let’s get moving dude

No, sorry I’m out of weed too.

Whiskey! Let the Games Begin!

Everybody let’s get together

But let’s not talk about the weather

Or comment on each other’s sweater

Not talk about days that felt better.

That would really be quite boring

Who really cares if it is storming

And I don’t really care what you’re wearing

Or whether your life is worth bearing.

Let’s add a lot of whiskey in

And let the entertainment really begin

Funnier watching feuding kin

Than watching them hold it all in.

Let it out everyone I say

You’ll tell them they need to pay

For being an asshole on some other day

Wouldn’t you rather get it out of the way

Then sit here and pretend it’s all ok?

Whiskey is the way.

So grab your whiskey drink

And let’s drink to the brink

That would be the best thing

To entertain everyone during this

get together thing

Anyone in?

CANNIBALS NEED LOVING TOO

Cannibals need loving too

They really don’t put everyone in stew

They can have a relationship that’s true

Be loyal and truly true blue.

But if you decide to befriend one

Make sure you’re the skinniest one

Of their entire group of chums

Cause if they do decide to eat one

You won’t be the one that needs to run.

Try not to make your cannibal friend mad

Cause when they get mad you won’t be glad

When tossed into multiple food storage bags

Even if the bags are named Glad.

But it could be very interesting and exciting

To go out with a cannibal dining

As long as it’s not hunger for you that’s inciting

His decision to do the inviting for dining.

If you see your cannibal friend

Drooling over your luscious legs

Ask him what’s in his head

To find out if there is anything to dread.

You can decide once you hear what is said

Whether you can stay in bed instead

Of running away to avoid ending up dead

And please try not to be wrongly led

By delusions that twirl in your human head.

If he shows up with a fork and knife

And you never gave an invite

To eat with him that particular night

First be quite polite

Then run for your life.

And you need to watch what you eat

Especially when it’s meat

That he brings over as a treat

Because the treat that you eat

May be your old friend Pete.

Overall a risky proposition it’s true

You do have to stay alert to all cues

Have to watch everything you say and do

Keep it cool watching everything they do to

Or you could end up in their special stew.

But they could be a good friend too

A friend that is loyal and true blue

Never make you into stew

No matter what you say or do

Now it’s time to decide what’s best for you.

CRAFTY EVIL ELVES

Crafty evil elves

Cause dancing in hell

And devil eyes to swell

On the stories they tell

Of evil crafty spells

Used by the crafty evil elves.

One inch high and dressed in black

Long blue hair and a little hunch back

The stick together in a pack

In dark corners waiting to attack.

Seeking humans for their prey

Destroying good times every day

They hunt the places people play

Casting evil crafty spells night and day.

If you see a tiny flash of light

And happy feelings take flight

Look around and you just might

See one hiding in corners of the night.