Showing posts with label office work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office work. Show all posts

Oh Stinking Monday!



Oh stinking Monday

Definitely not a fun day

Fun goes sinking away

No more play

For five more days.


Alarm sounds off

Time to run don’t stop

Huff and Puff

It’s hard to get up.


Sit and stare

Like a zombie bear

Feels like I don’t care

Looking for something to wear.


Add some caffeine

Now it’s a different scene

Feel like Steve McQueen

On an action movie screen.


Commute away

Gotta get paid

To live you have to pay

No one has a say.


Get there stare at the computer screen

Not what I imagined when I was a teen

Maybe I’ll just scream and make a scene

Forget it time to grab more caffeine.


Work next five days

Cutting deals the American way

No deals cut there’s hell to pay

Work hard to make things go my way.


Oh stinking Monday

Definitely not a fun day

Fun goes sinking away

No more play

For five more days.

WIERD STEVE GETS HAIR PLUGS



Look at those terrible plugs

That Steve got do you think he’s bugged

He should’ve stuck with the rug

Maybe we should give him a hug.


Poor Steve he thought this would take him

To greater heights with the women

Love so far has escaped him

But it would help more if he would stop eating bacon.


That tire around him must be heavy

Must be why he drives a Chevy

And now his head looks crazy

He’d be a complete tool if he was lazy.


He does work hard it’s true

Stays way later than me and you

But hell he must have nothing better to do

Poor slob life for him must seem so cruel

Maybe we should invite him to carpool.


Have you ever really talked to him

No not me I only ran in

To him once at the mail bin

He was talking to himself about sin.


Hey there he is what should we do

Let’s just go ahead and ask him to carpool

Hopefully he won’t start to drool

Hopefully he’s kinda cool.


Hey Steve how’s it going today?

Want a ride home at the end of the day?

We live right on the way

To your house on Sycamore Bay.


Steve quickly agreed

But turned quickly to read

His manual on greed

And being an evil seed.


Two hours later they all took a ride

Steve in the back and on the left side

Took his knife out and threatened their hides

They turned it around and cut out his insides.


Damn! Want an asshole Steve turned out to be

Did he really think kindness meant being friendly

What should we do with this asshole’s corpse thing

Should we bury it with the rest of the ring

Of jerk off creeps who do the killing thing.


Sure let’s bury him there

But that’s the last one we can bear

To put in the place near that wild bear

That bear is crazy over there.


Quietly they crept

Passed the place where the bear slept

Making sure not to step

In the place where the bear kept

An eye on the place where they stepped.


Crack!... Shit! The bear is awake

Hurry lift this stupid snake

We gotta run or we’re in for it

Dump this idiot and let’s run real quick.


Swap in one swipe the bear killed the two

Who had killed that most terrible dude

But the bear didn’t know what those two do

He just knew they treaded on his area for food.


The dude and the two were left to rot away

The bear ate a little bit but didn’t stay

To clean it up all the way

And no one found any of those dudes to this day

“Cause no one ever went there to play.


Next time you feel sorry for a creep

Make sure you know him quite deep

Don’t trust your instincts a heap

Those instincts can sometimes cheat

And then you may be beat

With no life left to reap.

Things Are Getting Hazy


This computer’s got me going crazy

Things are starting to look hazy

And dots are forming in the shape of daisies

Is everyone suddenly wearing paisley?


I could break down and turn it off

But what will I do next to stop

The constant thought

Swirling in my brain like a perpetual top.


Wait a 10 minute break may cure me

I’ll just have to force myself to break away and see

If resting my eyes for 10 minutes will be

Enough to allow my eyes to again see

And keep up with the brain in me.


5 minutes have gone by and I ‘m a wreak

I’m getting weaker and starting to sweat

WHERE IS THE MOTRIN KEPT?!

ENOUGH’S ENOUGH’S I GOTTA GO BACK TO IT!


There I’m back now though I still can’t see

But people don’t look that bad in paisley

And my vision has improved from hazy

And my brain is once again happy.


I could be going crazy

From brain pulses that keep me from being lazy

That makes my brain work ‘till my eyes are hazy

And everyone looks like they’re wearing paisley.


Screw it I don’t really care

If I go crazy and everyone stares

I love my computer beyond compare

And my brain likes to write ‘till it’s bare


So I don’t care

If I can’t see over there

Of even if it makes me lose all my hair

I wont get off my computer whatever the fare.

LOVIN MY WILD MIND



Wild mind wild mind

Do you commit crimes?

Do you have a good time?

Do you have peace of mind?


Don’t be so dramatic you slob

This is how I get away from my job

Where lives the ugly hogs

Whose brains are full of dark logs.


No sense to it it’s just wild

That gives me a way to smile

Live my wild side for awhile

Before I go back to attempts to be defiled

By the devils who work in my pile.


Never to be revealed though

This life must remain a secret so

I can continue to make dough

In the real life I hoe.


Don’t feel bad that’s not the point

I am a great warrior in my work joint

Beat those a*sholes down to a fine point

And then party down at a cool joint.


Make money a plenty on the real side

Just having fun on the wild ride

Of living a piece of the artistic side

Maybe one day it’ll be the real ride.


Until then it’s just a wild ride

Makes it fun inside

Makes me laugh ‘till I cry

Makes it funner to be high

So hope you laugh ‘till you cry

And enjoy my wild ride.