Having so much fun
When each nightfall comes
Cyber land funny chums
Talking to everyone.
Internet changed my world
New way to laugh and twirl
Entertaining human interactions
Interesting fun reactions.
Thanks my internet chums
For making my life fun
Stopping in lifes run
To chat with everyone.
Look at those terrible plugs
That Steve got do you think he’s bugged
He should’ve stuck with the rug
Maybe we should give him a hug.
Poor Steve he thought this would take him
To greater heights with the women
Love so far has escaped him
But it would help more if he would stop eating bacon.
That tire around him must be heavy
Must be why he drives a Chevy
And now his head looks crazy
He’d be a complete tool if he was lazy.
He does work hard it’s true
Stays way later than me and you
But hell he must have nothing better to do
Poor slob life for him must seem so cruel
Maybe we should invite him to carpool.
Have you ever really talked to him
No not me I only ran in
To him once at the mail bin
He was talking to himself about sin.
Hey there he is what should we do
Let’s just go ahead and ask him to carpool
Hopefully he won’t start to drool
Hopefully he’s kinda cool.
Hey Steve how’s it going today?
Want a ride home at the end of the day?
We live right on the way
To your house on
Steve quickly agreed
But turned quickly to read
His manual on greed
And being an evil seed.
Two hours later they all took a ride
Steve in the back and on the left side
Took his knife out and threatened their hides
They turned it around and cut out his insides.
Damn! Want an asshole Steve turned out to be
Did he really think kindness meant being friendly
What should we do with this asshole’s corpse thing
Should we bury it with the rest of the ring
Of jerk off creeps who do the killing thing.
Sure let’s bury him there
But that’s the last one we can bear
To put in the place near that wild bear
That bear is crazy over there.
Quietly they crept
Passed the place where the bear slept
Making sure not to step
In the place where the bear kept
An eye on the place where they stepped.
Crack!... Shit! The bear is awake
Hurry lift this stupid snake
We gotta run or we’re in for it
Dump this idiot and let’s run real quick.
Swap in one swipe the bear killed the two
Who had killed that most terrible dude
But the bear didn’t know what those two do
He just knew they treaded on his area for food.
The dude and the two were left to rot away
The bear ate a little bit but didn’t stay
To clean it up all the way
And no one found any of those dudes to this day
“Cause no one ever went there to play.
Next time you feel sorry for a creep
Make sure you know him quite deep
Don’t trust your instincts a heap
Those instincts can sometimes cheat
And then you may be beat
With no life left to reap.
I saw the devil today
He walked right by and said "HEY!"
I said," Devil I see who you are now go away!"
He said, "Man don’t you know I’m here to the end of days?"
"What do you do here exactly?", I said
"Do you wait until bad people are dead
Then carry them to their punishment bed
Give them a taste of all the bad they did?"
"That’s part of what I do it’s true
And HA HA you should see the face of those dudes
When they see me when they’re through
Like they never really believed hell was true
They really act like some serious noobs
You should come with me and see what they do
You’d get a great laugh at them too!"
"No thanks", I said "I have things to get done
And I really think I have to run
In fact I think I’ll go visit a priest or a nun
Hey maybe even become one."
"Relax", the devil told me
"I am actually quite quite lonely
And you are really the only
Human I met that isn’t a boob
And I really want to spend time with you
Maybe we can be friends too."
"I don’t think that would be a good idea
I wouldn’t want anyone to hear
They might run from me forever with fear
If they knew I lent you an ear.
But hey while you are still here
I’m willing to crack a beer
Talk with you for a moment to hear
About your plans for this planet here."
"Damn!" the devil said
"It’s hard being someone everyone dreads
Except for all those jerks I punish when they’re dead
They make absolutely terrible friends."
"Whatever!" I said, "You shouldn’t have pissed God off
Tried to take control and been so rough
And by the way all that other stuff
You did to the people on this planet that’s tough
That isn’t exactly friendly stuff."
"HA!" the devil said "Don’t give me all the credit for bad
You humans can act on your own like real hags
And though I admit of course that it makes me glad
That’s mostly just them on their own being bad.
Once in a while I do tinker for fun
Give little pushes to make people undone
But those people were already living life under the sun
Doing bad shit to absolutely everyone"
"And by the way" the devil said
"Some of that bad shit is what God did
Get’s mad at you humans for various types of shit
Then brings down some serious wrath because of it.
I mean look at all that religious warring shit
Using God’s name to justify the killing bit
Think that doesn’t get him pissed
Man believe me He does and that’s the truth of it."
Suddenly the devil began jumping up and down
"C’mon!" he said "it’s close to the death of another clown
Think he might have drowned
Come with me to the edge of town
You can see what I mean and laugh a round
When I show up and pound him down
To hell’s fire and brimstone ground."
"No thanks" I said " I have things to get done
And like I said I really think I have to run
In fact I think I’ll go visit a priest or a nun
Hey maybe even become one."
"Don’t worry" the devil said
"You have nothing at all to dread
You’ve always been a pretty good kid
I have no plans whatsoever to be at your death bed
Of course unless you change your head
Between now and the time that you’re dead."
"Don’t worry" I told the devil
"As much as my life can be disheveled
I’m never suckered by any evil
Though I must admit it’s been considered
when fighting against an evil rival."
With that the devil bounced off to the right
Disappeared in the thick of the night
I always thought the devil would fly
Oh well that was still one crazy sight!
I’ll head to the left now instead of the right!
Here comes that stupid fool Deez
He’s such a jerk he makes me so peeved
Has that serious control everybody disease
Wants everyone to get on their knees.
What’s wrong with him anyway
Who made him turn out that way
Turn everyone in without getting paid
That deal is ridiculous every day.
Maybe he’s a secretly hidden dominatrix
And this is part of his disgusting bag of tricks
Whenever he gives out a snitch ticket
He immediately sexually responds to it.
Whatever get’s that jerk off high
We know he can’t be a very happy guy
Everyone against him ‘till he dies
And living life with those deformed fat thighs.
Hey Deez what’s that you say
You don’t like the way we play
Then turn around and go the other way
We don’t care what you say on any day
We live it our way
You ridiculous human display
Of control freak in the way
Of happy days of play.
HA! There he goes
Running like a little dummy ho
What’s he going to tell the store?
We hurt his feelings?Boo Hoo
WHAT A HOLE!
HA HA forget about him let’s go
Have some fun and play some more
He ‘s not ever going to change anymore
That freak will be a snitchy geek for ever more
And eventually everyone will show him the door.
This computer’s got me going crazy
Things are starting to look hazy
And dots are forming in the shape of daisies
Is everyone suddenly wearing paisley?
I could break down and turn it off
But what will I do next to stop
The constant thought
Swirling in my brain like a perpetual top.
Wait a 10 minute break may cure me
I’ll just have to force myself to break away and see
If resting my eyes for 10 minutes will be
Enough to allow my eyes to again see
And keep up with the brain in me.
5 minutes have gone by and I ‘m a wreak
I’m getting weaker and starting to sweat
WHERE IS THE MOTRIN KEPT?!
ENOUGH’S ENOUGH’S I GOTTA GO BACK TO IT!
There I’m back now though I still can’t see
But people don’t look that bad in paisley
And my vision has improved from hazy
And my brain is once again happy.
I could be going crazy
From brain pulses that keep me from being lazy
That makes my brain work ‘till my eyes are hazy
And everyone looks like they’re wearing paisley.
Screw it I don’t really care
If I go crazy and everyone stares
I love my computer beyond compare
And my brain likes to write ‘till it’s bare
So I don’t care
If I can’t see over there
Of even if it makes me lose all my hair
I wont get off my computer whatever the fare.
Hey chicky come over hereLet me whisper in your ear
Buy you a bunch of beer
Take away all your fears.
Hey I’m not your type
That’s alright
Enough beers tonight
And I’ll look out of sight.
You don’t drink
Well that just stinks
Takes me to the brink
What if I buy you a mink?
That’s right I have money
I’m what you’re looking for honey
I’m even pretty funny
Even have a six pack tummy.
Does that help tonight
To forget I’m not your type
It really isn’t hype
Go with me and you’ll be more
Than alright.
I’m just looking for a chick
Who knows all the tricks
To keep my life hip
Even though I’m a drip.
Won’t tell her more
Like how she’ll have to be my ho
How I won’t let her ever walk out the door
Make her sweep my dirty floors
For ever more.
Let her find out later
When feelings are greater
Then start telling her I hate her
After I capture the heart of this player.
So you want to go with me?
Step into my Porsche you’ll see
How great life will be
After you give your heart to me.
I’m going to make you mine
‘Till the end of time
Give you a life that’s fine
Never have to work the mine
Life filled with only good times.
Cool step right in
Don’t worry about the sin
This is where life begins
You’ve made the right decision.
Later…..
What’s that? I’m just a one night stand?!
Thought you wanted to take my hand!
Walk with me forever through the sand!
Make me forever your man!
Piece of meat !
That’s all you see!
You just felt horny!
Think I’m too corny?!
Whatever I don’t care
Really wanted to pull your hair
Give you a life you couldn’t bear
So just go on get outta here
And no! you can’t have a beer!
Is that Bunny Makalee
Didn’t she get hurt kneeling on her knees
Climbing up that work tree
Trying to get rich and freed?
Yah Yah I think that is her
I recognize that fur
That matching purse
She wore it to that funeral
With the colorful hearse.
Hi Bunny how have you been
Haven’t seen you forever friend
What kind of shape is your knee in?
What’s that? You had a win?
Won the lottery spin?
Married a zillionaire?
This is starting to seem unfair
Does he act like a brutish bear?
Does he make you scratch and tear?
What?! He is honest and fair?
Hey we’re getting outta here
I can’t listen to that dream
Being treated like a queen
No one lives that scene
That scene’s only in your dream.
Ha Ha Ha I knew it!
Had me going with that bit!
No No it’s fine I can handle it
But really glad you ended that shit.
We were ready to go away
See you never after today
Cause zillionaires never play
With people who work all day.
As long as you’re still one of us
What? What about that lottery stuff?
That wasn’t part of the joking bluff?
Wow do you think there’s enough
To give some of it to us?
Hey we were on your side
When you climbed outside
Trying to make it the other side
She even cried.
Yah it’s true
I cried and supported you
When you did what we should do
To break free from work servitude.
Both of us felt blue
When we thought you got screwed
No No it wasn’t us laughing at you.
Anyway just thought we’d try
Since now you have a very rich life
While our life is filled with financial strife
We didn’t think it would cut like a knife.
Everyone always begs you for money?
What did you think it would be like honey?
Not everyone’s day is quite so sunny
The rest of all of us find your attitude funny!
You have to give give give
When you have plenty to give
Allow the rest of us to live.
It’s not your prerogative
“Cause if you refuse
It’s us you’ll loose
And it won’t be cool
Sitting alone like a fool.
What’s that? You have new friends?
Joined a club of people with lottery wins?
Don’t care about what shape we’re in?
Living the good life end to end?
Hey, that’s all we have to say
So guess we won’t see you after today
Whatever we don’t really care
And by the way what’s with your hair?
Man, what’s up with her?
Didn’t her daddy teach her to share?
And what was with that stupid hair?
She needs lots of Nair
Hey let’s just shut up and get outta here
On our way back let’s stop for beer.
I’m not in the mood for a gangsta flick
And don’t want to watch a boxing clip
Are those the only picks
That you will agree to sit
With me a little bit?
What happened to your peacock wings
That fluttered and bowed to your lovely queen
When you would do almost anything
To make me laugh and sing?
Am I a conquered concubine?
Maybe I wasn’t the marrying kind
If this is what happens after you’re mine
And it means the end to loving times.
Another guy may be what you need
He will be more appreciative and pleased
To spend some time with me
Bring you back to reality.
I’m not prepared to sit
Quietly by being bored to death
While you focus on a gangsta flick
Or some old boring boxing clip.
My crown is still on isn’t it
Or did you dupe me with that sh*t
Are you doing what grandpa did
Saying you adored me was just a trick?
It’s time to pay attention to me
Your gracious and most beautiful queen
I’m am everything I seemed
When you saw me in your dreams.
What? You don’t want to watch t.v?
Want to go with me and see
If we could spend time happily
Enjoying the company of you and me?
Gladness that you still can see
The happiness when you’re loving me
Because I am a needy queen
That needs to see your peacock wings
And hear the bells of love songs sing
After that I will do anything
For my lover king.
Look over there it’s Dori Day
Didn’t everyone talk bad about her yesterday
No one had anything pleasant to say
Maybe we should just walk the other way.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not
We’ll be out of the group if we get caught
Spending time with Dori is too hot
If our friends see us we’ll fall from the top.
By the way have you ever talked to her
Do you know whether she’s bad or good
Maybe she’s just misunderstood
And not at all ridiculous and rude.
It could be we are being tricked
And she is better than these other dicks
They actually talk about everyone like they’re shit
And tell us what to do never letting us even think about it.
Maybe we should go our own way
Go over there and talk to Dori Day
Not listen to what the others say
And start making our own decisions everyday.
That way we won’t make mistakes
When others tell us who to hate
Because they may just not appreciate
People that are actually really great.
Maybe it’s too risky for the image they create
Of being better for better’s sake
And there’s nothing bad about Dori Day
She’s just got caught in the way
Of egos that need to feel better than someone else each day.
It’s true we will be out of the group
If we begin to live in truth
But if we don’t we’ll have no couth
And live a life that’s a ruse.
And we might miss out on a ton of good friends
Even have more fun than the group we’re in
Hey this is sounding better then
Doing what we’re told again.
Hi Dori how’s your day?
We are seeing you through another way
And we wanted to know if you want to play
Lets’s all go off this way
And have a fun day.
Wow Dori Day was really great
I’m so glad we didn’t make the mistake
Of listening to others who want to create
A world where everyone separates
From talking lies that breed hate
Just to make them feel better for better’s sake.