Showing posts with label wild. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wild. Show all posts

WIERD STEVE GETS HAIR PLUGS



Look at those terrible plugs

That Steve got do you think he’s bugged

He should’ve stuck with the rug

Maybe we should give him a hug.


Poor Steve he thought this would take him

To greater heights with the women

Love so far has escaped him

But it would help more if he would stop eating bacon.


That tire around him must be heavy

Must be why he drives a Chevy

And now his head looks crazy

He’d be a complete tool if he was lazy.


He does work hard it’s true

Stays way later than me and you

But hell he must have nothing better to do

Poor slob life for him must seem so cruel

Maybe we should invite him to carpool.


Have you ever really talked to him

No not me I only ran in

To him once at the mail bin

He was talking to himself about sin.


Hey there he is what should we do

Let’s just go ahead and ask him to carpool

Hopefully he won’t start to drool

Hopefully he’s kinda cool.


Hey Steve how’s it going today?

Want a ride home at the end of the day?

We live right on the way

To your house on Sycamore Bay.


Steve quickly agreed

But turned quickly to read

His manual on greed

And being an evil seed.


Two hours later they all took a ride

Steve in the back and on the left side

Took his knife out and threatened their hides

They turned it around and cut out his insides.


Damn! Want an asshole Steve turned out to be

Did he really think kindness meant being friendly

What should we do with this asshole’s corpse thing

Should we bury it with the rest of the ring

Of jerk off creeps who do the killing thing.


Sure let’s bury him there

But that’s the last one we can bear

To put in the place near that wild bear

That bear is crazy over there.


Quietly they crept

Passed the place where the bear slept

Making sure not to step

In the place where the bear kept

An eye on the place where they stepped.


Crack!... Shit! The bear is awake

Hurry lift this stupid snake

We gotta run or we’re in for it

Dump this idiot and let’s run real quick.


Swap in one swipe the bear killed the two

Who had killed that most terrible dude

But the bear didn’t know what those two do

He just knew they treaded on his area for food.


The dude and the two were left to rot away

The bear ate a little bit but didn’t stay

To clean it up all the way

And no one found any of those dudes to this day

“Cause no one ever went there to play.


Next time you feel sorry for a creep

Make sure you know him quite deep

Don’t trust your instincts a heap

Those instincts can sometimes cheat

And then you may be beat

With no life left to reap.

LOVIN MY WILD MIND



Wild mind wild mind

Do you commit crimes?

Do you have a good time?

Do you have peace of mind?


Don’t be so dramatic you slob

This is how I get away from my job

Where lives the ugly hogs

Whose brains are full of dark logs.


No sense to it it’s just wild

That gives me a way to smile

Live my wild side for awhile

Before I go back to attempts to be defiled

By the devils who work in my pile.


Never to be revealed though

This life must remain a secret so

I can continue to make dough

In the real life I hoe.


Don’t feel bad that’s not the point

I am a great warrior in my work joint

Beat those a*sholes down to a fine point

And then party down at a cool joint.


Make money a plenty on the real side

Just having fun on the wild ride

Of living a piece of the artistic side

Maybe one day it’ll be the real ride.


Until then it’s just a wild ride

Makes it fun inside

Makes me laugh ‘till I cry

Makes it funner to be high

So hope you laugh ‘till you cry

And enjoy my wild ride.

Tiny Tea Cup Fairy You Have No Control



Tea cup fairies dance and sing

They don’t care about anything

No work at all just sing sing sing

Brings them absolutely everything

They need to make life a happy thing

And continue on to sing sing sing.


Fly around back and forth

Sometimes south sometimes north

Dressed like little tiny whores

Collecting liquor back and forth

To assure they always get more

At the tiny little liquor stores.

.

Sounds distressing how they dress?

They don’t care if you get pissed

They sing all day and forget the rest

So there’s no point to sweat or fret.


You know dressed like little whores

They always get more

And they aren’t real whores

Who spend all day getting sore

Who no one let’s in the door

They just wear the dress of whores

Don’t ever give more

‘Cause it gives them more from the

Liquor store.


Can’t make them change not ever you know

Even if you intentionally step on their toe

Make them work hard with tiny hoes

Or say their bad for dressing like little hos.


They will just go on and sing sing sing

Never realize anything

That you say about their being thing

Regardless of what you decide to bring

To try and stop their sing sing sing

Or their dress like a little whore thing.


So if you see a tea cup fairy flying by

Dressed like a little whore don’t cry

Don’t try to change their life

They just can’t stand to be dry

And just love to get high

But never bother any guy

Unless that guy’s eye

Gets caught by

Their tiny wild side

The side they love to use

to get a free ride

That’s just the tide

Of life going by

For tiny teacup fairy guys.

EVIL WALKS THE DIRTY ROAD



Evil incarnate walks the dirty road

Looking for humans to sew

A body robe

To be a better Ho.


He doesn’t care about morality

She is beyond the strictures of insanity

His freedom remains a continuous calamity

Hide inside and protect your reality.


The robe needs constant upgrades

The skin continues to degrade

Can’t get Ho business without looking great

This Ho’s one serious evil f*cking ingrate.


Police are stumped continuously

This sicko doesn’t have any integrity

To leave a clue for the puzzled police

Allow everyone to finally get some sleep.


It stumbles upon one night

An angel ready for the fight

Ready to put at an end to the plight

And making things finally right.


No one knew

What happened to that dude

The angel kept things cool

And everyone eventually forgot that evil fool.

FRIDAY STUPENDOUS TREMENDOUS



Stupendous fabulous Fridays

Last day of working like a slave

Made it through the week HOORAY!

Now there’s two glorious sunny days

To have fun and play all day

Wash that work week all away.


Didn’t think I could play it through

A week so seriously brutal and cruel

Everyone acting like a fool

Made me feel like a tool

For pretending it was cool.


Moments of insanity bloomed

Thoughts to sprint nude

Yelling and screaming “BALOO!”

Felt at moments like the right thing to do

Luckily I thought twice PHEW!


HURRAH for the weekend!

Bring me back to me again

Letting the good life soak in

Justifying the means to the end.


Life feels fabulous and good again

Not like a punishment for a serious sin

Going to live it up and drink some gin

And spend two days loving life again.