INTERNET CRITICS

If you don’t like

What I write

Please be polite

And do what’s right

If you don’t agree

And cannot see

The poet in me

I might catch the disease

Of trying to please

And lose my off beat creativity.

So even if you hate

Everything I create

And can’t appreciate

The rhyme I make

Who I am is at stake

And what you hate

Others actually might appreciate

But your hate

might create

A terminal quake.

So if you don’t like

What I write

Try to be polite

And do what’s right

Or I might kill your stupid ass tonight.

CANNIBALS NEED LOVING TOO

Cannibals need loving too

They really don’t put everyone in stew

They can have a relationship that’s true

Be loyal and truly true blue.

But if you decide to befriend one

Make sure you’re the skinniest one

Of their entire group of chums

Cause if they do decide to eat one

You won’t be the one that needs to run.

Try not to make your cannibal friend mad

Cause when they get mad you won’t be glad

When tossed into multiple food storage bags

Even if the bags are named Glad.

But it could be very interesting and exciting

To go out with a cannibal dining

As long as it’s not hunger for you that’s inciting

His decision to do the inviting for dining.

If you see your cannibal friend

Drooling over your luscious legs

Ask him what’s in his head

To find out if there is anything to dread.

You can decide once you hear what is said

Whether you can stay in bed instead

Of running away to avoid ending up dead

And please try not to be wrongly led

By delusions that twirl in your human head.

If he shows up with a fork and knife

And you never gave an invite

To eat with him that particular night

First be quite polite

Then run for your life.

And you need to watch what you eat

Especially when it’s meat

That he brings over as a treat

Because the treat that you eat

May be your old friend Pete.

Overall a risky proposition it’s true

You do have to stay alert to all cues

Have to watch everything you say and do

Keep it cool watching everything they do to

Or you could end up in their special stew.

But they could be a good friend too

A friend that is loyal and true blue

Never make you into stew

No matter what you say or do

Now it’s time to decide what’s best for you.

LA LA LA WHAT DID YOU SAY?

La La La I hate the poetry of the elitist

Words wrapped tighter than an anus

From the snobbiest kingly noses on the planet

Don’t they know we don’t have time to understand it?

La La La what did you say?

I don’t have time to figure it out all day

Isn’t there a more straightforward way

To relay your thoughts onto the page?

I am living on the fast track pace

And my life is an endless race

To fit everything in on a fast track pace

I don’t have time to analyze and evaluate

Twisted words of some unknown fate.

Spit it out just say what you need to say

If it takes too much time it will get in the way

Of anyone whose life is fast track paced

You need to get with the pace of the rest of the race.

What do you say I don’t have taste?

Come from a less elitist race?

At least you understand it’s the case

That I come from the normal human race

You know, we’re those people all over the place

And by the way that’s also your place.

Whatever I’m outta here

I only had 5 to give you my spear

I won’t ever be returning dear

This place tangles my brazier

Through tangled words that no one can hear

Needing too much time to lend an ear.