Forgive and Forget Not Always The Right Bet

How many apologies does one get

When they keep treating you like a pet

Treat you bad and expect you to forget

Until your heart’s a total wreck?

Love is powerful it’s true

But abusing its power and being rude

Isn’t love’s nourishing food

It’s just an evil tool of people being cruel.

Sometimes we all slip up it’s true

Act like extremely stupid boobs

And love’s forgiveness is truly cool

But better watch what you do

Or love will be seriously through with you.

So next time you think to be cruel

To the one you love and act like a tool

Just know that forgiveness may not come

And love you’ve enjoyed might be finally undone.

And for those whose love forgives abuse

When too many apologies speak truth

And your heart feels broken in two

Take care that you don’t grab the noose

Just end it all and cut that jerk off loose.

Sady Gets Cracked

Sady sat all night

Watching men fight

Such an interesting sight.

Ducking left to right

Fists of fight fly by

Keeping all in sight

Imaginary referee delight.

Genes of warrior days

Fill this play

With a gleeful array

Of enthusiastic knaves.

Trouble then ensues

An uncontrolled brew

Of hormone stew

Took control of the brood.

Crack! Sady was hit

Fell into a pit

Stunk like a crypt

Popped one tit.

Came to in the morn

Her clothes were all torn

Didn’t fill her with scorn

Just got up and went home.

Screw The Old Farts!

Kids are running all around

Adults are screaming wearing frowns

Can’t recall that kids need fun

Can’t recall their days of playing in the sun.

What’s wrong with those old farts?

Looks like they all got stuck with darts

Kids are supposed to yell and scream

Not supposed to not be heard or seen.

There goes an old fart now

Screaming and yelling at the kids so loud

He has gathered a voyeur crowd

Does that make him feel proud?

What an old fat sow.

The kids flip him rightly off

Tell him they won’t ever stop

Doing what kids do each day

Living life through wonderful play.

Good for them I say

Tell that old fart he can’t have his way

Kids are here to stay and play

Will keep going on ‘till the end of days

And he just needs to go away

If he can’t stand the way they play.

Hope those kids don’t grow up like him

Don’t grow up and commit the sin

Of old farts trying to end the fun

Of wonderful kids playing in the beautiful sun.

THANK GOD FOR CHOCOLATE AND FAST CARS TOO

Thank God for chocolate

And fast cars too

Thank God for gambling

And making great booze.

Thank God for Sea Doos

And all of the natural wonders

That keep me entertained

And thinking less of plunder.

Thank God for boats

That sail me far away

Watching turtles swim by

Being lazy all day.

Thank God for planes

That fly me away

Into new blue skies

To a new place in a day.

Thank God for pools

Swim and get tan

Thank God for beaches

And all that great wild sand.

Thank God for summer

Don’t have to drive the Hummer

Run around all day in the sun

Life is less of a bummer.

Thank God for comedians

Make me laugh out loud

Turn blue into happy

Turn sad into proud.

Thank God for the red white and blue

Even if it’s a little screwed up

Better than living somewhere else

Where they tell me how to dress up.

Thank God for good people

That aren’t evil and bad

If there were more bad than good

The good would be so sad.

Thank God for life

Adventure of the ride

Even when things are tough

Being alive fills me with pride

I have survived!

Hurry Hurry Get Your New Drugs!

Scientists all gather around

White coats abound

Telling us what they have found

Telling us that it is profound.

A new treatment for this or that

Hiding details like big old rats

Side effects that are really crap

Pretending we don’t care about that.

Other details left out too

Like clinical trials that didn’t do

The job without some added brew

That they aren’t going to give to you.

Who will read that stuff they say

No one suspects us to play

With words we use to get us paid

These white coats let us have our way.

New drugs are the white coats game.

TV hasn’t been the same

Drug us all is their lofty aim

Drug us all is a money game.

Smoking drugs tell us there’s hope

Actually make us all dopes

Don’t speak the truth or the real

Trying to make tons of money on the deal.

New drugs create bloody rain

Livers die and strokes are gained

People are never the same

Losers in the new drug game.

Human biology so complex

White coats still remain perplexed

While pretending to have the perfect hex

Scribble out another RX.

Not all drugs are bad it’s true

Many have helped me and you

Just be careful what you do

If you don’t need it don’t ensue

Ingestion of any new brew.

Dream it LIVE IT!

Keep the faith against all

Who think small

Who believe you will fall

And don’t know how to stand tall.

Everyone never agrees

And some love to spread the disease

Of bringing your dreams to it’s knees

But it’s not the minority you seek to please

It’s only the majority that needs to agree.

If you have creative vision

Don’t let the minority create division

Stand strong like convicted religion

And don’t let minorities define your position.

Hold your dreams tight

Put up a fight

Let insecurities take flight

And keep doing what’s right.

If you feel it in your soul

You don’t need to be told

Whether your dreams will hold

Stand strong and be bold.

That’s the only way

Your dreams will last the days

Work hard and every day

Pay dues you have to pay

Work hard to have your way.

Then you will see

How happy you’ll be

When your dreams are real

Faith and work sealed the deal.

Thereafter you can say

To all those in the negative way

To bad you didn’t stay

And help me on my way

Have anything good to say

Now just get the hell away!

Parenting in the Real

Once a child

Grew up to be wild

For a little while

Then had a child.

Responsibilities burst

Diapers and bottles first

Temper tantrums curse

Need as much money as Hearst.

Making it through fine

Then comes teenage time

Use up the last dimes

Swerve to avoid crimes.

End comes

Look back at the fun

Almost came undone

Sometimes wanted to run.

Little people all grown up

Living life doing grown up stuff

Bathed in love but it was rough

Parenting is more than tough.

Once a child

Grew up to be wild

For a little while

Then had a child.

TWO MORE DAYS FOR CASH TO BLOOM

I don’t know where to start

Make sure nothing falls apart

Make me want to fart

And taxes my poor heart.

Week is ending soon

Two more days to work the room

Make giant stacks of cash bloom

Work to avoid financial ruin.

Jump in and swim to stay alive

Don’t jump in I won’t survive

Dreams to goals a constant strive

Towards happier days and bluer skies

Hopes my heart will survive

The stress of being a working guy.

WHY DOES WAITING TAKE SO LONG?!

I can’t stand waiting anymore

Waiting to know whether I will be sore

Or happy when I find out more

It’s affecting me down to the core

I don’t feel like I can take it anymore.

Nervous tension, fear of losing

It would be easier to start snoozing

Or maybe I should start boozing

Damn I’m starting to feel woozy.

Clock ticks by slow at first

Later faster like a ticking bomb

So loud my eardrums might burst

Why does waiting take so long?!

Trying to hang I tell myself I know

That there is only a short time to go

Before I will finally know

Whether things will end high or low.

Sick it’s a Friday that this happened on

I thought I’d be off today to write bird songs

Instead I’m ordered to wait all day to carry on

A high tension high stakes telephone call.

It’s sick and twisted this tense tense life!

Does anyone else have this kind of strife?

How do they continue to survive?

How do they stay alive?

If I win, my day will end with glee

If I lose, I’ll end my day unhappily

Either way before that can be

Clammy hands and insanity

Work a war against me.

But I know that when the time comes

I won’t act like a stupid nervous bum

But a rather a quite intelligent chum

Because there is important work to be done

And I won’t leave anything undone

And will be again the one

That won.

INTERNET CRITICS

If you don’t like

What I write

Please be polite

And do what’s right

If you don’t agree

And cannot see

The poet in me

I might catch the disease

Of trying to please

And lose my off beat creativity.

So even if you hate

Everything I create

And can’t appreciate

The rhyme I make

Who I am is at stake

And what you hate

Others actually might appreciate

But your hate

might create

A terminal quake.

So if you don’t like

What I write

Try to be polite

And do what’s right

Or I might kill your stupid ass tonight.

Burn a Trail Move Like a Snail

Burn a trail

Move like a snail

It’s all in the tale

Of making the sale.

Consumers inspected

Completely dissected

Money’s respected

Nothing else is detected.

Products a plenty

Land of honey

Land of money

Retail business sunny.

Burn a trail

Move like a snail

It’s all in the tale

Of making the sale

Oh Stinking Monday!

Oh stinking Monday

Definitely not a fun day

Fun goes sinking away

No more play

For five more days.

Alarm sounds off

Time to run don’t stop

Huff and Puff

It’s hard to get up.

Sit and stare

Like a zombie bear

Feels like I don’t care

Looking for something to wear.

Add some caffeine

Now it’s a different scene

Feel like Steve McQueen

On an action movie screen.

Commute away

Gotta get paid

To live you have to pay

No one has a say.

Get there stare at the computer screen

Not what I imagined when I was a teen

Maybe I’ll just scream and make a scene

Forget it time to grab more caffeine.

Work next five days

Cutting deals the American way

No deals cut there’s hell to pay

Work hard to make things go my way.

Oh stinking Monday

Definitely not a fun day

Fun goes sinking away

No more play

For five more days.

INLAWS! HELLS BELLS!

I went to my in laws today

It went the same way

As it has every other day

Bored to death and having to stay.

Try to be polite and kind

Can’t do it right every time

Sometimes I just lose my mind.

Doting mothers adults turn weak

Makes me sick ‘till I can’t speak

Can’t stand to see any adult seek

That blubbering sappy little kid tweak.

Controlling tendencies come to play

Make sure you don’t stand in the way

There might be hell to pay

Just stay quiet and have nothing to say.

Odd men out stand on the side

Married into exclusionary pride

No one wants to take that ride

Makes you want to puke inside.

Expectations are high

Participate in the family pride

With an exclusionary side

Odd man out on the ride.

I think I’ll have the perpetual flu

That’s the best thing to do

Get away from inlaw blues

And keep it perpetually real and true

Living in the red white and blue.

WIERD STEVE GETS HAIR PLUGS

Look at those terrible plugs

That Steve got do you think he’s bugged

He should’ve stuck with the rug

Maybe we should give him a hug.

Poor Steve he thought this would take him

To greater heights with the women

Love so far has escaped him

But it would help more if he would stop eating bacon.

That tire around him must be heavy

Must be why he drives a Chevy

And now his head looks crazy

He’d be a complete tool if he was lazy.

He does work hard it’s true

Stays way later than me and you

But hell he must have nothing better to do

Poor slob life for him must seem so cruel

Maybe we should invite him to carpool.

Have you ever really talked to him

No not me I only ran in

To him once at the mail bin

He was talking to himself about sin.

Hey there he is what should we do

Let’s just go ahead and ask him to carpool

Hopefully he won’t start to drool

Hopefully he’s kinda cool.

Hey Steve how’s it going today?

Want a ride home at the end of the day?

We live right on the way

To your house on Sycamore Bay.

Steve quickly agreed

But turned quickly to read

His manual on greed

And being an evil seed.

Two hours later they all took a ride

Steve in the back and on the left side

Took his knife out and threatened their hides

They turned it around and cut out his insides.

Damn! Want an asshole Steve turned out to be

Did he really think kindness meant being friendly

What should we do with this asshole’s corpse thing

Should we bury it with the rest of the ring

Of jerk off creeps who do the killing thing.

Sure let’s bury him there

But that’s the last one we can bear

To put in the place near that wild bear

That bear is crazy over there.

Quietly they crept

Passed the place where the bear slept

Making sure not to step

In the place where the bear kept

An eye on the place where they stepped.

Crack!... Shit! The bear is awake

Hurry lift this stupid snake

We gotta run or we’re in for it

Dump this idiot and let’s run real quick.

Swap in one swipe the bear killed the two

Who had killed that most terrible dude

But the bear didn’t know what those two do

He just knew they treaded on his area for food.

The dude and the two were left to rot away

The bear ate a little bit but didn’t stay

To clean it up all the way

And no one found any of those dudes to this day

“Cause no one ever went there to play.

Next time you feel sorry for a creep

Make sure you know him quite deep

Don’t trust your instincts a heap

Those instincts can sometimes cheat

And then you may be beat

With no life left to reap.

LONG LIVE AMERICA YOU STUPID TOOLS!

The aliens are coming one by one

They sneak around after the sun is done

If you see one

Don’t run

Kill it dead with your gun.

Fear is only the game of fools

Don’t fight back against such ghouls

And in the end they will rule

And we will all become their tools.

You’ll know when you see one

Looks like they’re wearing a bun

But that’s just their brains undone

Burns up if exposed to the sun.

They make little noises that sound

Like weird mutterings from an evil clown

And if they’re talking look around

All the flowers will be falling to the ground.

The stench is also quite disturbing

So bad it’s actually unnerving

Probably comes from the weird food

That feeds that ugly stinking brood.

Man can you believe it came to this

Why did we believe in that politician shit

Told us all with those lieing lips

Swerving tail