Janet the Pimple Hater



Janet had a pimple

On top of her cute dimple

Making Janet feel simple

So she viciously attacked that pimple.


Scrub and scrub

Rub and rub

Products applied by the tub

Reduced that pimple to a nub.


Janet wasn’t fully pleased

That nubby pimple kept her peeved

As long as anyone at all could see

That pimple would bring Janet to her knees.


Stop! Stop! the pimple cried

I don’t want to be fried

I only just came alive

Please allow me to survive.


You already reduced me to nub size

And by and by I will die

A simple biological goodbye

Disappear forever it’s not a lie.


Forget it Janet replied

You gotta die

Don’t have to say goodbye

You’re gonna fry!


Janet grabbed her tazor

The one with the green laser

Hit that pimple till things blurred

No pimple was stopping her.


Finally she succeeded

Was glad she hadn’t heeded

That pimple’s cry to be treated

Like a human instead of mistreated.


The only sign of previous life

Of that pimple that gave her strife

Looked like a scar from a tiny knife

That Janet would have for the rest of her life.


But Janet didn’t care

If a tiny scar was there

That wasn’t going to scare

Anyone off without a dare

Like that pimple that was there.


Janet felt very powerful and proud

Had her head up in the clouds

Singing out loud

To an imaginary crowd.


Janet lived the next 10 years that way

Never let a pimple ruin her day

Getting left with tiny scars every day

Knowing people would be scared away

If she every let those pimples have their way.


Soon and 10 years later

Biological changes no longer a traitor

Janet grew out of developing craters

But Janet felt terrible not greater.


Janet’s face was scarred so bad

From all those acne products she had

And all those laser tags

That at 25 she looked like a hag.


Too bad Janet didn’t know

How her biology would go

And how badly she would blow

Her chances to glow.


She should’ve let those pimples survive

Treated those nubs like decent guys

Allow their biology to survive

The short life before they died.


Those scars are a terrible sight

Make you scream with fright

Demon coming in the night

What a terrible terrible blight.


So if you don’t want to be Janet there

Treat your skin with kindness and care

Pimples on teenagers are the norm not rare

So no one around will ever really stare.


Come along class let’s move on you know

It’s getting late and we have to go

That’s the end of this show

Of how we all grow

Thank Janet and give her some dough

For putting on such a fine show

Of how she screwed herself so pro.