There once was a dude named Urg
Who just loved to splurge
At levels that were quite absurd
Made him into a ridiculous turd
Once Urg turned into a ridiculous turd
He got so poor it was absurd
He never got to splurge
That really bothered Urg
In fact it bothered Urg so much
He ate his girlfriend for lunch
Packed what he didn’t eat in the trunk
Then headed out west on a hunch
Passed by a leprechaun on the way
Who was having a bad day
Wandered onto the highway
Urgs car swayed
But hit him anyway
His girlfriend’s parts fell onto the road
Smelled worse than a decomposed toad
The leprechaun’s body just started to erode
Urg didn’t think the criminal charges would hold
Until prison became Urg’s new abode
Prison was more than he could bear
So he ended his life in there
Walked up some cloud like pearly stairs
Until he came upon some women with flowing hair
He couldn’t help but stare
Even through the glare
Suddenly Urg was blinded by the glare
Tripped over the flowing hair
Fell down all those pearly stairs
Thought he smelled a little Nair
When he reached the bottom
Things had turned from good to rotten
Nothing here looked like cotton
Then he saw the leprechaun
He always thought they were the devil’s spawn
He was looking at Urg like he was turned on
The leprechaun spoke with fury
Told Urg not to get up in a hurry
He spit causing a little fire flurry
Smelled a bit like Indian curry
You son of a bitch the leprechaun spat
If you hadn’t acted like a rat
I’d still be up there playing with cats
Sewing cool little hats
Living is where its at
A sudden wind came in a gush
Picked Urg right up
Threw him into firey brush
Like he was trash to clean up
The leprechaun scampered off
Leaving a smell a little like Smirnoff
On the way up to the women with the flowing hair
That were always at the top of the stairs
Existing like an endless dare
Of try to get up there
