Jim looked down at the dull white paper. It was the next problem in a long string of the reality of an unending misery of life that he had experienced for so long it disgusted him. He wished he could regain his previous love for the job but he knew with certainty now that in this life there would be no time of glorious peace; that's heaven, you have to die to get there he thought. He sighed heavily as he watched the mixture of human demons and lost souls pushing by his cluttered desk. At least he was off the beat, his thoughts ran on as he sneered at one particularly disgusting representation of the human race walking by, those guys don't get any warning about what horror they are going to experience next. His mind wandered back to his life as beat cop while he fought to push out his long collection of disturbing memories from that life.
He pushed off his desk with his large but tired hands feeling the pins and needles of too many years of computers. He wanted to run out but knew better than to stand out here. Do the job of turning the turnstile like an unemotional robot and go home and drink it away was the manageable routine that kept him going and the payroll checks of survival coming in. But he just couldn't finish off this day and felt the overwhelming urge to leave not caring if he ever saw another paycheck again. He felt his gun in his holster and it calmed him with the sense of protection he needed now. This was the only shield against crime overrun everywhere as it has always been. Even Jesus was crucified with thieves and murderers he thought as he threw his emptied coffee cup in the full trash can turning to walk out.
As he walked towards the exit he looked at the floor worn out from relentless steps of the good and the evil. Suddenly his focus was interrupted by a bony nudge. He raised his head and caught the eyes of this one dead on. The gaze made his soul scream. He stepped quicker towards the door scratching at his tie. He filled his mind with the repetitive chant "few more steps few more steps" until sunlight hit him like pure oxygen to a suffocating man.
As he drove down the lumpy streets of Los Angeles he felt his heart beat slower and his body relaxed. Just being away was great therapy but liquor was required to keep the constant march of horrible memories out of his mind. He contemplated his long career and whether it was time to call it quits. The stress was overwhelming him and he needed relief beyond the few hours to the next work day.
He took a long drag off a cigarette and kept his eyes on the road in front of him. He didn't want to see the smut of LA that surrounded him. Even in the so called "good areas" Jim knew evil lived and was trained to see it even when others couldn't.
He had given up on relationships long ago. What his job did to him like most cops his wife was right to divorce him. He found comfort in occasional hook ups with women in the same predicament but for different reasons.
He decided to go to one of his spots to find just that; a little female therapy mixed with whiskey would be perfect medicine he thought as he turned the wheel into the parking lot of Sherries Place. A quiet upscale place that didn't have as many unpleasant people in it as most places and other cops didn't go here. Jim didn't like to spend his off time with his brethren he had enough at work of that. He still knew it was the cops against everyone else they all knew that. Politicians with their bullshit solutions created greater divisions in people making it more dangerous for all of them.
As he walked through the dark green canopied side entrance to the bar area he pushed out his cigarette. As soon as he entered he did a quick scan for a seat at the bar. The lunch crowd was gone but it was still healthy and when he saw a seat he hurried over to it.
A woman was sitting next to him her flowing blonde hair touching his shoulder with their light strands. She looked eastern block to him, older but still sexy. She slowly drank a martini unattached to anything going on. Jim was considering engaging her but needed time to get a drink down first. The busy bartender tended to his needs swiftly which was one of the reasons Jim liked this place.
Soon Jim had his first drink down and he finally had control his own thoughts again. He decided not to analyze what happened at work anymore. A break had worked in the past and he was working on that for now. Jim had learned that too much thinking could be bad and out of control thinking was much worse.
He drank down the sweet oaky whiskey feeling it coat his whole body with a deeper release. Before Jim had a chance to make a final decision about making a move on the woman she spoke to him. "Hello" she said her voice as sexy as she was with an accent that confirmed to Jim he had it right. "Hello" Jim responded falling into the confidence from his drink with a familiar ease. "What's your name good looking" Jim reached out for more. She tilted her head toward him her blonde hair glistening. Jim became mesmerized in her deep eyes. "Tatiana and thank you. You are pretty dark and handsome yourself" she let out a soft giggle that left Jim wondering about the sincerity of her compliment but with his intentions of a brief encounter it didn't matter to him much. He wanted to kiss her and forget about the niceties that women who aren't prostitutes wanted before they would allow a kiss or have sex. But he knew being that reckless act would blow it with her so he resisted his urge working instead on being the man she needed him to be to get his time with her and that gave him the highest chance at ending up in bed with her.
"So do you have a name?" She gave him a look that seemed she knew he was excited by her. " Jim laughed "I'm sorry you are just so beautiful. My name is Jim it's a pleasure to meet you. Are you here alone? " as he spoke he reconsidered every word as it left his mouth not wanting to fail with her. "Yes I am. I had a date but he didn't show up so that's over." As she spoke her red lips distracted him but he could hear her words confirming he had a chance.
Hours passed while Jim enjoyed Tatiana's company so much he completely forgot he had another life before he walked into that bar. She was not only beautiful she was smart and funny. Jim lied to her about his job as he always did. Being a cop made people nervous and if it was a criminal you met it made it downright dangerous. But he was relaxed with her no bells and whistles going off to suspect her as being evil. She seemed to genuinely be enjoying herself too. But Jim didn't try to fool himself into thinking it works like this when he's deep with a woman. This only worked for a short time after that his work life spilled into it and things go bad.
She said she was a healer and he didn't consider it for himself as it wasn't the kind of ritual he was interested in. She was trying to make people feel better for a living and that was fine with him. He needed to feel better and she was just what the doctor ordered. Jim actually felt happy and against that great low today he felt he was getting a little taste of contentment heaven. He started feeling like himself again and Tatiana fell easy agreeing to extend this escapade to the best end of these encounters for Jim.
He put his arm around her waist feeling her fit form enjoying confirming his previous visual ideas about the body underneath her clothes and his body felt warmer instantly. She didn't resist instead falling into his body feeling that perfect fit as he did. He arranged to go to her place which was always Jim's preference leaving in a cab so she wouldn't know his car. She was comfortable enough that Jim knew this wasn't her first rodeo. The address she gave the cab driver surprised Jim because it was in the part of LA that took a lot of money to live in and the address was a high end condominium complex. She didn't seem poor but he didn't think that she was this well off either. But he didn't worry about it Tatiana was fabulous and he stopped caring about anything the whiskey swirling in his brain accentuating his confidence as he moved in close to her. She reciprocated and Jim fell into the wonderful world of ecstasy only briefly interrupted by leaving the cab and getting into the bed of her place.
