Johnny’s thoughts of revenge melted away the last of his
humanity quickly. Finally there was no hope that Johnnie could be ever really
be saved. With religious conviction he believed that other people only existed
to take from and had no other purpose or value. The world was his to take any way he could take from it. If
the music industry were refusing to recognize his godly talent then he would have
to take his position from the music industry too.
He continued to regularly trade himself for sex from the
sidewalks and alleyways trying to find wealthy men to take him in and take care
of his every financial need, but was never successful in accomplishing this. He
did on occasion have longer engagements at the homes of sadomasochistic women
and men who took care of Johnnie until they sickened of him and kicked him back
into the street. The
sadomasochists were the first that Johnny found that would take him in and
expect nothing but sex that he found pleasure in too so he did not feel like he
was working for his life.
After a few years he decided to leave Berlin and headed to
Los Angeles to increase his odds at success in the music industry and to seek
his revenge at the capitol where rock music contracts are born. He had his “My
Universe” recording and he believed the world deserved to hear his music. It was only the ignorance of the music
industry that had decided his music was worthless that caused him to feel
hunger for the first time in his life. He would be on top again and taking his position on top
back like a marauder was what Johnny lived for. It would simply solidify his superiority over these inferior beings.
Johnny’s initial decision to dress as a young girl to entice
more prostitution opportunities in time included dressing like a woman to
entice women to be with him under the false pretense that he was a woman. His frail small body fit easily into
women’s clothes and he didn’t mind the feel of women’s clothes either. He loved that he could so easily fool women into believing
anything he made up about himself. He usually picked the role of someone who
needed saving because he knew most women responded to that like a bunch of
Florence Nightingales. He also
reveled in their shock and surprise when they discovered that he was a man and
to his pleasure and benefit that could sometimes take them months.
All the while he had a warm place to live that he did
nothing for but exist within it while the women he lied to supported him, fed
him, looked after him. Lies after lies kept the game going. Johnny particularly
sought out women raising their own children because they had an easier time adding
another person to support to their load.
They were used to taking care of someone too so it felt more natural to
them he thought. Johnny didn’t care about these women because to Johnny women
were just as worthless as men were. The purpose of women was the same as men to
take as much as he could from them and take pleasure in every success he had in
this game fueling his feelings of superiority even further. He also used his My
Universe recording to convince women it was a new recording that he had a real
shot at making it big with. That one worked like a charm on many women even if
it was for one warm night and that was success to Johnny.
Johnny also went regularly to Los Angeles rock clubs
while he continued to think of ways to take his position in the music industry
and take his revenge. Surrounding
himself in the crowded bars he listened to rock bands performing with disdain
but he took pleasure in imagining himself in large arenas packed with devoted
fans of his perfect music. He would simply replace the face of the lead singers
with his own and then he could tolerate being there while they played. But in
these places he found many people he could take from either with buying him
drinks or taking him home. If he provided sex he always expected payment
whether with men or women and if they refused he would take it. He knew that
none of these people would go to the police. Police weren’t part of rock music
life and they weren’t the types to seek out their assistance. Plus they didn’t
want others to believe they were buying sex so he always got away with it. It
was great for Johnny to watch them squirm whenever he got the chance.
One day a woman in a rock music orientated Los Angeles
nightclub, intrigued him the moment he first looked at her sitting on the
opposite side of a crowded bar. She was older and clearly wasn’t wealthy but
she wasn’t poor either. Her clothing he assessed was mostly outdated but they
still had worth. She was alone
that was clear too. Johnny generally went for younger woman but this woman
seemed to pull him to her without her doing a thing. He was not wearing women’s
clothes on this day and he began to panic slightly as he gazed at the woman.
She did not look at him and seemed to never realize his focus on her by the
time he came up to her at the bar.
She spoke first as soon as Johnny was next to her after pushing through
the crowd. The words she uttered shocked Johnny. “I was wondering when
you would catch up with me.” She said the words without turning her face
towards him while staring blankly outward. After a moment Johnny’s
shock turned to disbelief that he had heard her correctly. He laughed out loud
and said “Excuse me did you say something to me?”. This time the woman turned to him and
for a second he thought he recognized her but was at the same time oddly also sure they
had never met before. She repeated the same words to him looking directly in
his eyes this time and Johnny suddenly froze.
